Wednesday, April 25, 2007
PS... You all could come to Columbus for Thanksgiving!! Any takers?? Grandmom and Grandad would love a visit too!!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Texas T, Black Gold -- well the next thing you know old mom's a millionaire, kinfolk said "Wood, move away from there ..."
They said "Californy is the place you ought to be" so they packed up Brazil and they moved to Santa Clariiii (ta - that is).
Well now its time to say good-bye to Jack and all his kin. And they would like to thank you folks fer kindly droppin in.
You’re all invited back again to this locality
To have a heapin helpin of their hospitality-Hillbilly that is. Set a spell. Take your shoes off.
Y'all come back now, y'hear?
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Paul only laughs when others suffer, as in this picture (note the specks of blood on the basketball from bouncing off of Marty's nose). The previous picture had indeed been photoshopped and colored! Click here for the original picture.
Happy Birthday Paul, You're PURE EVIL!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it .. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO .... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!